How has it been a year in 4 days....it still doesn't feel real...I went to the cinema the other day...we all went, I don't go as much anymore but we went, and we was put in the dreaded screen 11 and in the same seats....I could see it all over again in front of me, like I was watching us find out all over again, then walking back down the stairs I could feel it, I could feel my heart stop again, just like last time...why did it happen...why didn't you go for one of your famous last minute wees....just a few more seconds apparently...that's all...a few more bloody seconds....its not fair...I really hope we're doing you proud n looking after mum...she's OK...she still has bad days...truth is she still needs you...we all do...just make sure youre holding her hand and i know she'll be ok, we love you so much xxxxx